Category Archives: OpsLens Media

Dilemmas of the 21st-Century American Parent

Standing in the breeze on a warm spring day at the end of another school year, I listen as a pre-Kindergarten child receives a prize at the elementary schoolā€™s yearly awards ceremony. Inwardly, I cringe as I hear ā€œ . . . and she wants to be a YouTuber when she grows up.ā€ My attention suddenly is diverted as my 2-year-old darts off into the crowd, tearfully screaming for daddy.

I see far too many social media posts from well-meaning parents who worry that their toddler isnā€™t speaking yet, or fret about their 4-year-oldā€™s short-attention-span. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard or read well-meaning but (to my mind) misguided advice to ā€œget him (or her) evaluated.ā€ What explains this push for a magical pharmaceutical remedy or some other treatment to shoehorn kids into our concept of ā€œappropriateā€ behavior. Apart from wondering where this mythical child evaluation station is located, I wonder what is happening to the American parent.

When I was a child, I spent countless hours digging in the dirt, discovering beetles and worms. I could construct an entire village out of pebbles, coral, and rock. I built bridges and put ants on leaf boats that sailed across great puddles of water.

Nowadays, pre-school and pre-Kindergarten kids are placed in front of a tablet or a laptop almost as soon as they enter the classroom. Parents, understandably tired and overworked, willingly surrender their smartphones to their children when they canā€™t seem to entertain themselves for a few minutes. Teachers, overburdened with bulging classroom sizes, time-sucking administrative meetings, and more and more ā€œprofessional developmentā€ requirements, sometimes rely on appsā€”educational as they may beā€”to teach children the basics during their long classroom days. Even if we assuage ourselves with the idea that our child is getting limited screen time at home, they are getting plenty of it at school.

Parents, on a constant scroll through social media, are bombarded by worries about how their children are developing. Are they measuring up with their peers? New young mothers often get their parenting advice from a Facebook group filled with other young, inexperienced mothers rather than from more experienced family members or from medical professionals. Doctorsā€™ offices are overflowing with patients, though it is rare to see an actual doctor during an appointment. All it takes is a quick glance at the majority of commercials flooding our television screensā€”so many offering pharmaceutical solutions to just about every preventable health problem.

An Epidemic of Overprescriptions

You canā€™t even glimpse at a parenting blog or article without seeing numerous parental claims of a child suffering from anxiety or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), even for children as young as 3. Perhaps a small pill could solve all of our parenting worries.

The United States accounts for less than 5 percent of the worldā€™s population but 83.1 percent of the global volume of ADHD medications. Methylphenidate (also known as Ritalin and Concerta among other trade names) is a central nervous system stimulant and is one of the pharmaceuticals used to treat ADHD. Some figures I have found say that 85 to 95 percent of the methylphenidate produced in the world is consumed in the United States. Does this mean that there is no ADHD in the rest of the world?

Many doctors will tell their patients that depression is caused by a problem in the brain, a chemical imbalance. This has been the explanation for decades. Yet every year, diagnoses of depression and anxiety increase, especially among kids. Administration of psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac (among others), causes long-lasting alterations in brain function. As a result, the brain operates differently from the normal state.

Some studies have found that there may be social or economic incentives that encourage an ADHD diagnosis. Public school children diagnosed with ADHD may qualify for additional educational services. The U.S. Supreme Courtā€™s 1990 decision in Sullivan v. Zebley led to the inclusion of ADHD for Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits. There was a three-fold increase in SSI benefits for children between 1989 and 1995. In 2013 alone, SSI benefits for ADHD were more common than those for intellectual disabilities, autistic disorder, speech and language impairments, and other developmental disorders.

One interesting theory for the increase is that the No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 (NCLB) may have encouraged school districts to pressure parents of academically low performing students to have them evaluated for ADHD and other learning disabilities. The belief was that if those same children were administered cognitive-enhancing drugs, they would perform better on standardized tests, which would stave off cuts in federal school funding. Some statistics support this view. In particular, low-income public school children from states where this strategy was introduced as part of NCLB showed double the increase in ADHD diagnoses between 2003 and 2007, relative to other states.

Since then, however, many state legislatures have become concerned about the influence that schools were having on mental health diagnoses and decisions about medications for students. Many states have since enacted child psychiatric drug laws (CPDL), which instruct public school boards to prohibit school personnel from recommending a child take a psychotropic medication, mandate that a child take psychotropic medication as a condition of enrollment, or use a parentā€™s refusal to medicate a child as the single basis for a neglect accusation.

What Have We Done to Our Kids?

I cannot help but think we are letting our children down with our desire for a quick fix, a convenient ā€œsolutionā€ that does not even come close to identifying any underlying problems.

Not too long ago, a friend who works in the pharmaceutical industry told me a disturbing story. In the late 1990s, while working at a managed care pharmacy in Davenport, Iowa that serviced three surrounding states, he noticed a huge number of methylphenidate prescriptions from one particular state. When queried about the numbers, the head pharmacist replied, quite matter-of-factly, that ADHD was well covered by insurance in that state, so everyone there supposedly had ADHD.

Then the pharmacist said something that sent a chill down my friendā€™s spine: ā€œTwenty years from now, we will look back on this and ask what we have done to our kids.ā€

Two weeks later, on April 20, 1999, my friend happened to be in Littleton, Colorado when two teenage boys went on a shooting spree at Columbine High School. They killed 13 people and wounded more than 20 others before turning their guns on themselves as police closed in.

Oftentimes, the privacy of medical records is a barrier to uncovering the role psychiatric drugs may have played in violence such as the Columbine shootings as well as most of the student school shootings since that time. There is some evidence that many of the mass shooters of our recent history were either on or withdrawing from medications prescribed for depression, anxiety, and/or ADHD when they went on their murder sprees.

In our overworked, overstimulated, and exhausted lives are we too susceptible to believing that our depression, anxiety, or lack of an attention span is due to a chemical imbalance in our brains? Could that be cutting us off from discovering the real causes of depression or anxiety? Are we too quick to take bad advice from strangers on social media without educating ourselves first? Shouldnā€™t we strive to become our childrensā€™ greatest advocates? In doing so, wouldnā€™t we ensure that doctors do not hastily hand us prescriptions for powerful psychotropic drugs just to clear out their overcrowded waiting rooms?

Perhaps it sounds simplistic, but we may need to be more mindful of our kids. That does not mean that we need to coddle them, but we need to learn how to pay attention to them and truly listen to them without distraction.

We need to practice being present. True mindfulness means being in the moment and focusing on what you are doing at that moment. We need to learn how to hear our children and spend time with them, without the interruption of social media or electronic devices. We need to be aware of what they are interested in, and what they are doing in their free time. We need to place limits on electronics, social media, and video game usage and promote reading books, physical exercise, and being present.

What are we doing to our kids? We are all strapped for time; we are all busy. But somehow we need to make more time for our childrenā€”more time to listen to them. It may not pay a salary, but it could very well be the most important thing you can do for the world.

This article has been republished on OpsLens with permission from American Greatness.

Opening the Door to New Opportunities

So, why do all these projects? After all, many authors, artists and creators of all types don’t actually make much more than pennies on the dollar from each “creation” they sell. Everyone takes a cut. [I do actually make some money on them, and it is a constant royalty stream for my children when they are older, but…]

The answer is, writing a book leads to other opportunities.

In my case, one of the first doors that opened to me was the offer to be a contributor to OpsLens Media. OpsLens provides daily print and video commentary on the worldā€™s most trending and critical stories related to national security, public policy and other matters of state through the lens of experience. The staff of contributors is comprised of former intelligence, law enforcement and military operators that have more than 200 deployments to both conventional and hostile areas around the globe performing counterterrorism, counterdrug, counterintelligence, traditional espionage and other unique operations. As a former CIA officer, I fit this description.

I began with a series focused on California called Underground California. This led to more show appearances, building on my first TV experience with Politics & Profits with Rick Amato earlier in the year. You see, no one would have asked me to be on a show prior to publishing my fist book, Single in the CIA. My second ever show appearance was on the Drew Berquist Show. Each of these appearances allowed me to showcase some of my projects and products, and that always helps a small business person.

Fast forward to today, and I am now the Editor at OpsLens Media.

You see, it all began with one book.

**For a great explanation of what it is like to be a CIA officer and also what OpsLens is all about, watch OpsLens founder, Ron Hammond on American Snippets.**

Does Anyone Remember?

It kind of bothers me sometimes how little people seem to remember. In the U.S., at least, it seems any time an event occurs, it is immediately hyped up as being the first time ____ has ever happened. Just within the past couple of weeks we heard that two hurricanes were heading toward the U.S., one behind the other, and THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT WE’VE SEEN THIS!! Surely we all remember a time when two hurricanes happened to be lined up near each other in the ocean and were headed toward the U.S. I remember plenty of times myself. Never mind that usually one of the storms gets downgraded and is no longer a hurricane by the time of landfall. When Irma was heading for the Florida Keys, I saw plenty of hysterical posts on social media about how this was the first time such a strong hurricane had ever threatened the Keys. Seems no one can remember or even has the skills to research a little anymore. In 1935 (just as ONE example), The Labor Day Hurricane caused incredible damage to the Florida Keys. You can still see that damage as you drive down to Key West alongside the railroad that abruptly ends, destroyed by this hurricane and never repaired. Remember Hurricane Donna and Betsy in the 1960s? One of them most certainly was guilty of tossing a Volkswagen Beetle into the bottom of the sea – a creepy shipwreck-like scene that I was fascinated by as a kid swimming in the open ocean.

It’s not only hurricanes and weather events – what about swine flu or H1N1? Does anyone remember that? I do. I actually had the swine flu – in 2009 – and I survived. We didn’t shut anything down for H1N1. We were simply told that if you were sick, stay home. It was a pandemic, just as we’ve had numerous other pandemics. What about SARS? MERS? COVID-19 is not the first pandemic, though the unprecedented freak-out that we have seen in response to it is certainly new.

Terrorist attacks are not new either. Throughout the 1960s and 1970s, just as one example, there were numerous plane hijackings. Does anyone remember the Iran Hostage Crisis? Does anyone remember the almost constant news of suicide bombings that we used to hear about on the sidewalks of Israel?

I know for certain that I will never forget September 11, 2001. I had hardly been in the Washington, D.C. area a year when it happened. I had just visited New York the week prior and stood at the feet of the Twin Towers, amazed at how tall they were. I remember how, that morning, I bumbled into the office of the IRS task force I was working for, to see the police officers and IRS agents all transfixed by the TV screen. They were watching planes crashing into the World Trade Center Twin Towers in New York City. I remember being somewhat oblivious as I went with a colleague to pick up snacks for the office and seeing the smoke on the horizon – at the Pentagon. I remember it sinking in as I saw people pulling over on the side of the road to try to make phone calls from phone booths (we still had those) – because if you had a cell phone, they were not working. I remember thinking of my family on the west coast, and worrying that they would be hit next. I remember watching the news coverage of people jumping out of the Twin Towers so they would not burn to death. I remember wondering how it would have been to look out of your office window to see a plane coming right at you and knowing you would die – if there would even be time to think. I remember for days after the attacks how nice people became, and how much courtesy we all suddenly showed each other.

Let’s try not to forget so much. Let’s try to learn from history. Let’s learn how to research again and try to find facts, not just narrative. Let’s remember how to make our own decisions instead of blindly accepting someone else’s. Let’s try not to avoid subjects just because they might be unpleasant or upsetting to talk about or remember. For, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”.

Life After The Agency

What does a former CIA officer do once sheā€™s no longer a CIA officer and has a family of her own? She writes multiple CIA-inspired books, invents a baby product, goes crazy with a music album (followed by releasing singles), builds an app and writes childrenā€™s picture books, of course!


BurpMittĀ®Ā products consist of super-absorbent, organic cotton products for baby and home. Mommyā€™s Gone Mad! is a comical music album for small children and parents of small children. The childrenā€™s album led to working on some more adult music singles. Cooking in the CIA is an app with recipes learned from years of entertaining and world travel.

If you would like to purchase a BurpMittĀ® product, you can find them on Amazon.

Cooking in the CIA is available on the App Store.

Mommyā€™s Gone Mad! (as well as the other singles) is/are on Spotify, Deezer, Tidal, Google Play Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Napster and more!

As always, thank you for helping me support my family by purchasing any of my products!

Giving Thanks – Let’s Celebrate!

As we get closer to the 5th year since my first book, Single in the CIA was published, I thought I would take a few minutes to say a BIG Thank You to all of you for your support and to celebrate some of the accomplishments from these past 5 years. I couldn’t have done it without all of you.

So, let’s take a look!

Since 2015, I have 7 published works: Single in the CIA, Mission: Stand Down, the Mingling in the CIA series – which consists of Observations of an Underdog, Annie, Annie Goes Overseas, and Bloud. I also have a children’s picture book, Mommy Thinks She’s a Monster.

Since becoming a published author, I have been invited to contribute to three different news outlets:

I write a series called Underground California for OpsLens. At the time of writing this I have 12 pieces with them. Here is one of my favorites: California Darkness.

Brainhackers.com focuses on brain health. Here is my favorite piece for them: The Secret to Happiness.

And then there is American Greatness. I was honored, and quite intimidated, to be accepted as a contributor for them – as they have some incredible writers. I currently have one piece for them: American Parent.

In less than 5 years I have gone from:

  • Ā 0 to 2,849 followers on Twitter
  • Ā 0 to 1,544 connections on Linked In
  • Ā 0 to 15K monthly viewers on Pinterest
  • 0 to 213 likes on Facebook
  • 0 to 17 subscribers and 1,943 views on YouTube

Since the publication of my first book, I have had 2 TV appearances – Politics & Profits with Rick Amato and The Drew Berquist Show. I have also had 2 interviews with Hollywood casting directors, as well as discussions with the people at As Seen on TV.

I have invented my very own physical product and had it manufactured. It is now available on Amazon.

I have learned how to build an app, and I created one. Cooking in the CIA is available on the App Store.

What People Are Saying About My Writing:

You give of yourself in your writing. You touch hearts. Itā€™s a rare gift Shelly.
ā€” David Kamioner, Writer, Contributor and Author of Prisoner of the Chattering Class

No holds barred, precisely the commentary Iā€™ve heard from others in similar situations. Thank you for who you are and being a role model for others to include our 14 year old daughter. Much appreciated.
ā€” Anonymous Reader

I will say it took courage to do what you did. Sort of like charging a machine gun nest. After the first step itā€™s too late to back out.
ā€” Frank Boccia, Author of The Crouching Beast

Thank you so much for being brave enough to show the world this view. You have done society a service with your pen!
ā€” Anonymous Reader

And, last but not least, Single in the CIA is being adapted for TV! That’s right – you may be seeing the book that began it all on your television screens!

As you can see, I have LOTS going on, and more to come. Who knows what the next 5 years has in store, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be big. I have fun coming up with new ideas and bringing my creations to life!

Again, I thank you all for the support. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday season. Here’s to FUN and laughter!

Cheers!
Shelly

I Was Once an Internet Troll!

I recently posted a series of flashback excerpts from my first book, Single in the CIA.  Iā€™d like to think my writing has improved dramatically since writing that book. I now have seven published books under my belt (four are part of a short story series).  As Iā€™ve written each one, I feel my writing has become more creative. My writing now has evolved from the robotic style of CIA cable writing (also, for much of the time I was writing Single in the CIA I had a newborn sleeping on my lap).  As much as I sometimes want to cringe when I read segments of Single in the CIA, I wouldnā€™t change the voice or what I said. I wanted it to be a sort of purging of memories, without much – if any – commentary about the events I described. I think I succeeded in my wish.

Four years later I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to write for OpsLens Media Group.  Itā€™s a very different type of writing, but it has definitely helped me to improve further. 

As this is my first experience as a news contributor, writing for OpsLens has been quite an eye-opener.  I write a series called Underground California in which I highlight issues in the state and try to give a voice to those who do not have one.  I try to paint a picture with my writing – to use my creativity to share experiences Iā€™ve had and images Iā€™ve seen.  

The staff of contributors at OpsLens is comprised of former intelligence, law enforcement and military.   They each offer print and video commentary through the lens of someone who has been there, done that. I truly have friends from all walks of life and I can say that most people who come from those lines of work tend to have fairly conservative views; ā€œConservativeā€ meaning free-thinking, experience-based opinions.  These people donā€™t get their news from memes on Facebook!  

Iā€™ve noticed something lately, and it seems to be getting worse.  People seem to be offended and outraged by everything! Iā€™ve seen it in just about every aspect of my life.  These days I have been deleted, unfriended, blocked, unfollowed, called nasty names, trolled, misunderstood and just plain treated badly.  And itā€™s not just on social media (I use the pop-in-pop-out strategy on social media as it is a necessary evil for me as a small businessperson).  I have had family members, blood and otherwise, treat me with disrespect and misplaced anger.  I have had old friends distance themselves from me and even call me a farm animal (huh?). It used to be we could discuss differing views and opinions and accept each other as independently thinking individuals.  Now, most people canā€™t even bother to be civil.

A few weeks ago I made a positive, supportive comment on a fellow contributorā€™s article.  Weeks later (did I mention I pop in and pop out?) I noticed he had responded, and not in a pleasant manner.  It appeared that he was so mad at the world that he twisted my complimentary words into something to be mocked. He recently apologized for jumping to conclusions, but the lesson is still there.

And the list goes on.  On another social media channel I was called a ā€œbleached blonde hagā€, ā€œRussian botā€ and told I was a ā€œlonely and desperateā€ old lady by various trolls.  The name-calling is rampant. On yet another channel I was contacted out of the blue after one of my articles was posted that happened to mention our president.  The person decided that because I had mentioned my countryā€™s president in a non-negative way (this reader is from another country) that he could not be connected with me on social media any more.  Mind you, I donā€™t personally know these people, I just want them to buy my books and products. Just like everyone else, I am trying to make a living.  

Oh – before I receive emails from well-meaning family members trying to give advice on how to handle these things – please, just realize I have an online persona and I do not take these things seriously.  Most of my writing is done in a joking tone, playing to the fact that most people put me in the ā€œdumb blondeā€ category.   

Really who cares what I think?  Who cares what anyone thinks? Does it really matter?  Itā€™s not all about you. Most people are only thinking about themselves and the worries they have from day to day.

Now, this is not to say that I am immune to getting sucked in to the social media rubbish – I am human.  I remember back in 1995 when my best friend and I used to fire up that dial-up service, listening anxiously while a noise akin to a robot being strangled filled our ears.  We would get into those chat rooms titled ā€œhot-tubā€ and stir up some shit! But it was more along the lines of ā€œI have big melonsā€ and people knew how to laugh back then. It was fun, it was harmless.  

I suppose you could say I was a troll.  But a happy-go-lucky trollā€¦ With big melons.