Category Archives: Single in the CIA

FORMER CIA OFFICER SHELLY MATEER UNCLOAKS THE “AGENCY” AND HER “MAN-IZING”

Ten years ago I published my first book, Single in the CIA. I couldn’t have even imagined the doors it would open to me, and honestly, it’s not my best writing! In the book I focused on my personal relationships in the Agency (in a comical way) and discussed the bloat I saw, well before it was the major news topic of the day.

I recently had the honor of being interviewed by the former stenographer for both the Bush and the Obama Administration, Mike McCormick, on his wildly popular Substack~

It’s not easy to write a book as a true CIA insider. First, you have to get in. Not easy. Then you have to get out. Again, not easy. And finally, you have to write about it and have your work approved for release according to CIA public affairs protocols. Very not easy….

To read more of my interview, please visit https://mmccormick.substack.com/p/uh-oh-she-was-a-cia-man-hunter .

Join me in the Cooking in the CIA Portal!

My Appearance on Good Morning Islamorada Sun 103.1 Radio

Hi All!  It has been a while since I’ve done any radio or TV or podcast appearances – but today broke the silence!  I was honored to be asked by Monroe County State Attorney Dennis Ward to appear on Good Morning Islamorada.

As many of you know, I have cancer.  I am going for the first major surgery on May 23rd.  It has been a long road full of torturous appointments, but I am lucky, as I have had this for a LONG time. It is safe to say that the doctors are shocked.  So, hey, whatever I’ve been doing – it works.  You may want to later subscribe to my portal Cooking in the CIA (I hope to have it live within the next year).

Check out my latest interview on Sun 103.1 Good Morning Islamorada!  Click the play button==>

Book Launch Day! Are you ready to meet Archie?

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s REALLY like to work at the CIA, you will have an awakening when you read my books. My series of short reads, or novelettes, Mingling in the CIA, takes readers into the lives of the CIA officers I met during my time there. You’ve met Annie, you’ve met Bloud…..

This time, join me in Thailand for some debaucherous fun! Are you ready to meet Archie?

The Trash is Passed! And Rewarded…

…Bloud eventually managed to finagle his way into working outside of the office, instead of being there every day to further poison the atmosphere. It seemed Vicky’s perception of Bloud had changed pretty dramatically and the decision had been made to allow him to become a satellite employee of our office, in preparation for future overseas posting. There were quite a few beach locations that Bloud was proposing as his next assignment, and to my surprise Headquarters was entertaining these requests. For the time being, he was going on very expensive TDYs to different paradises in the Caribbean [text was redacted here]. Written from various barstools in tropical resort towns, his cables never made much sense, just a barrage of babble that someone in our office or at Headquarters had to rewrite. He could not be bothered with actually writing cables documenting his work, a secretary would surely be needed to do this for him. It pained me to see these trips get approved when it was pretty clear they were a colossal waste of money…

Chief of Hissy Fits

As Chief of Operations, Bloud wasn’t very impressive…

…Bloud was in charge while Lawrence was gone, but that was not saying much. He had taken to throwing hissy fits and closing himself in his office any time he received news from Headquarters that he did not like. He would leave the young officers who needed his guidance out in the cold while he sulked behind a closed door. He had also begun a weekly ritual of cooking a slab of meat in a crock pot for the whole office and we were all expected to eat it and listen to him blabber on while the young officers kissed his butt. I dreaded being herded into the office kitchen for these little get-togethers…

Slab o’ Meat

Government Bloat and Bullsh*t

The next swamp creature we met in the Mingling in the CIA series was Bloud.

…Bloud was an experienced [text is redacted here] officer, in his fifties, whom I had heard much about. Apparently he had done some pretty exciting things years ago and he loved talking about his experiences, holding a captive audience in the young officers surrounding him. He delighted in telling tales of encounters with tigers and serving time in a hole in the ground somewhere in the Middle East. It was hard to imagine this slovenly, obese man doing anything besides eating pork rinds and drinking beer, but the stories were entertaining. He was given the Chief of Operations or third-in-charge position in the office. I did not have many friends in the office and he seemed like an interesting drinking buddy, so one day after work Bloud and I went to a nearby bar for drinks….

The Federal Government Way – Pass The Trash!

Annie strikes again. Your first introduction to one of the swamp creatures in my series, Mingling in the CIA:

…Her whole career was in limbo and she was going through something called mediation with her former supervisors. This was a process whereby she could contest the citation for bad behavior they had placed in her file. In any other workplace I knew of she would have been fired for not calling in when sick, not to mention dropping the ball on some highly sensitive intelligence during a critical time, but in the Agency there really did not seem to be a way to get rid of people who were bad employees. It was called “passing the trash,” and Annie would just be moved from assignment to assignment for her entire career….

The Cream of the Crop?

…Annie was another of the many women I encountered at the Agency who made me wonder how on earth she passed the psychological exam to get in.  She was a masseuse on the side and she often told me stories about giving married men “happy endings.”  Some of the men were Agency employees.  She seemed proud of this activity.  One day, after I had come back from my TDY medical exam, she loudly proclaimed that I could not possibly be done with my medical travel clearance because I hadn’t met with a psychologist yet.  It crossed my mind that maybe she should not be so open about this information.  Apparently, if you had red flags in your psychological history, the medical office would have you meet with a psychologist before you were allowed to go on even a brief TDY.  I had not met with one, but was granted my travel clearance, so I was set to go.  Annie was one of the main people who made me question the Agency’s hiring process…