“Make love to her right now!”
It was a wild night. I really did not feel like pursuing a relationship with Fiona; I was becoming increasingly creeped out by Archie’s request for me to find a girlfriend. After about the millionth text message pushing me to make out with her, I decided to keep him interested and fed him an imaginative story about how the night was going… He was practically slobbering through the phone…
…Later, Archie cited my supposed inclination toward lesbianism as justification for our break-up…
I dodged a bullet there, didn’t I?!