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A Different World…

Mission: Stand Down

…. he soon came to realize that no one was reading his cables, and he decided to stop wasting the effort.

The beauty of the park was sharply contrasted by the sight of a young teenage girl being questioned by two young men in uniform. Jay stumbled upon scenes such as these quite often, and he identified these men, who were likely only a few years older than the teenage girl, as being from the [redacted length=”extra”] militia. Jay supposed she was not adequately [redacted length=”extra”], or had too much makeup on, and was being harassed for it.

From my book, Mission: Stand Down.

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Happy New Year 2020!

Mommy's Gone Mad!

In true tired-mommy fashion, I fell asleep before I could continue on with the Mommy’s Gone Mad! listening party. But, not to worry, we can listen all year round! I hope everyone has a fun-filled, healthy, laughter-filled year!

Some background on Mommy’s Gone Mad!:

So…. I had all these songs recorded from as far back as 2013 when my first child was born.

Since that time I guess you could say that we’ve lived in some very remote locations.
One foot in the rubber room? Why yes, yes I am.

The kids and I have had fun making these songs – and they truly think these are hysterical.

Those of you who really know me know that I have a horrendous voice and zero musical talent. As any parent knows, kids love repetition (some more than others) and sometimes putting something on that a kid really likes (though it could be maddening) can give you time to do something you need to do, or give you a laugh yourself if you can find humor in the moment.

So, I made this album – the kids do backup on some of the tracks – and it will bring us laughs for life! (And a nice passive income stream which any parent can appreciate).

Mommy’s Gone Mad! is available on Spotify, Deezer, Tidal, Google Play Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Napster and more! It’s everywhere! I don’t know whether to be horrified or excited…. With tracks like I See Your Boogie and Pee On The Potty, it’s sure to be relatable to anyone who spends time with small children. If it entertains just one child, or makes one frazzled parent laugh, I have done my job.

Celebrate the New Year with Mommy’s Gone Mad!

Mommy's Gone Mad!

Join us for a 2020 celebration and the release of my first album! That’s right – Mommy’s Gone Mad! has dropped!

Listen to it on Spotify, Deezer, Tidal, Google Play Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Napster and more! It’s everywhere! I don’t know whether to be horrified or excited…. With tracks like I See Your Boogie and Pee On The Potty, it’s sure to be relatable to anyone who spends time with small children. If it entertains just one child, or makes one frazzled parent laugh, I have done my job.

Many thanks to the record company Amuse, Will.i.am and all involved, for the chance to get my release – my own particular brand of lunacy, out to the public – worldwide!

Join us for a listening party – December 31st 8pm to 1am!

Giving Thanks – Let’s Celebrate!

BurpMitt, Cooking in the CIA, Mingling in the CIA, Mission: Stand Down, Mommy Thinks She's a Monster, OpsLens Media, Single in the CIA

As we get closer to the 5th year since my first book, Single in the CIA was published, I thought I would take a few minutes to say a BIG Thank You to all of you for your support and to celebrate some of the accomplishments from these past 5 years. I couldn’t have done it without all of you.

So, let’s take a look!

Since 2015, I have 7 published works: Single in the CIA, Mission: Stand Down, the Mingling in the CIA series – which consists of Observations of an Underdog, Annie, Annie Goes Overseas, and Bloud. I also have a children’s picture book, Mommy Thinks She’s a Monster.

Since becoming a published author, I have been invited to contribute to three different news outlets:

I write a series called Underground California for OpsLens. At the time of writing this I have 12 pieces with them. Here is one of my favorites: California Darkness.

Brainhackers.com focuses on brain health. Here is my favorite piece for them: The Secret to Happiness.

And then there is American Greatness. I was honored, and quite intimidated, to be accepted as a contributor for them – as they have some incredible writers. I currently have one piece for them: American Parent.

In less than 5 years I have gone from:

  •  0 to 2,849 followers on Twitter
  •  0 to 1,544 connections on Linked In
  •  0 to 15K monthly viewers on Pinterest
  • 0 to 213 likes on Facebook
  • 0 to 17 subscribers and 1,943 views on YouTube

Since the publication of my first book, I have had 2 TV appearances – Politics & Profits with Rick Amato and The Drew Berquist Show. I have also had 2 interviews with Hollywood casting directors, as well as discussions with the people at As Seen on TV.

I have invented my very own physical product and had it manufactured. It is now available on Amazon.

I have learned how to build an app, and I created one. Cooking in the CIA is available on the App Store.

What People Are Saying About My Writing:

You give of yourself in your writing. You touch hearts. It’s a rare gift Shelly.
— David Kamioner, Writer, Contributor and Author of Prisoner of the Chattering Class

No holds barred, precisely the commentary I’ve heard from others in similar situations. Thank you for who you are and being a role model for others to include our 14 year old daughter. Much appreciated.
— Anonymous Reader

I will say it took courage to do what you did. Sort of like charging a machine gun nest. After the first step it’s too late to back out.
— Frank Boccia, Author of The Crouching Beast

Thank you so much for being brave enough to show the world this view. You have done society a service with your pen!
— Anonymous Reader

And, last but not least, Single in the CIA is being adapted for TV! That’s right – you may be seeing the book that began it all on your television screens!

As you can see, I have LOTS going on, and more to come. Who knows what the next 5 years has in store, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be big. I have fun coming up with new ideas and bringing my creations to life!

Again, I thank you all for the support. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday season. Here’s to FUN and laughter!

Cheers!
Shelly

Please stand down on pursuit of ….

Mission: Stand Down

Expecting to see only the usual download of the equivalent of junk mail in his cable queue, one short cable downloaded to his screen.

“PLEASE STAND DOWN ON PURSUIT OF ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO [redacted length=”extra”].”

That was it; the cable contained no further explanation…

[redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”][redacted length=”extra”]

….He was torn between what he knew to be the right thing to do, and the desire to [redacted length=”extra”] avoid being called back to Headquarters, an action that would effectively end his career.

Catty Ladies…

Single in the CIA

While most of the men I encountered in the Agency were a particularly narcissistic and womanizing bunch, the women of the Agency definitely took the cake when it came to viciousness and backstabbing. It was as if destroying your fellow female colleagues was a requirement for success as a woman in the Agency. This was rarely accomplished in public view; it was most often a behind-the-scenes demolition of another woman’s reputation.

#CommissionsEarned

Important Meetings…

Single in the CIA

And so it happens, in every workplace – endless time-wasting meetings, gossip and trash-talking. But at the CIA we were supposed to be above all of that – we were the “cream of the crop”….

….they were discussing the staffing of our office, going over each employee and what their position was. Barry said that when my name was mentioned and Barry described me as “the blonde”, one of the women in the meeting then spent quite a bit of time arguing that I was not a blonde, I was a brunette. The woman making these claims was someone I had met once or twice in passing. According to Barry she was adamant that I was not a blonde, I dyed my hair, and she spent at least ten minutes arguing with him about it. Barry thought the story was funny; I was just appalled. Besides the fact that I have always had blond hair, why was this an acceptable topic of discussion in a front office meeting? I could not understand how the color of my hair was relevant to any staffing meeting in the CIA.

#CommissionsEarned

An Endless Procession of Douchebags…

Single in the CIA

It seems like not much has changed at the CIA ….

You could say that my twenties and early thirties were an endless procession of douche bags, and most of the men I encountered during my Agency career were no exception. That was acceptable to me, I never considered myself a victim, I was merely along for the ride….. However, I was not prepared nor particularly suited for the reality of the workplace dynamics, in which I spent much of my days dodging perverts and battling unseen enemies lurking behind cubicle walls….

From my book, Single in the CIA.

Never Forget.

Mission: Stand Down, Single in the CIA

I will never forget seeing the burning on the horizon as I drove down the road. The Pentagon had just been hit. The plane had flown right over the road as I was driving. I had just returned to the Washington DC area, where I lived, from visiting New York City and seeing the Twin Towers in person. I was currently working on a HIDTA money laundering task force with local police, DEA, and IRS agents. I was severely underemployed in the position, but I had dreams of working for the CIA one day and, as is my nature, would not stop trying.

The people in the DC area were mostly a miserable, angry bunch. But after the attacks, I noticed an extreme change. People were suddenly being much kinder to each other. People were letting other people in front of them in the gridlock traffic that makes up the Washington DC area. People were courteous, helpful and respectful.

These days, we have gotten so far away from that. We are back to being angry and hostile. Jumping to conclusions about people we don’t even know. Not listening to one another. Making personal attacks simply because we think we know where a person stands on an issue, mostly based on a social media post. We have family interactions through social media, which is sometimes fake and phony and easily misinterpreted.

I will never forget September 11th and neither will my children.