Mommy Thinks She’s a Monster

I usually write books and stories about and inspired by my time working for the CIA. But….. I have now written a children’s picture book!

Mommy Thinks She’s a Monster is a touching children’s picture book about Moms and motherhood written from the perspective of a young child, who only wants their mommy to be present in their life. It is the story of the mother of young children who perhaps does not feel quite as attractive as she once did, or even suffers from PPD. This book is written for those moms who are never in the photograph, the moms who cannot find any clothes that fit, the moms who just don’t feel quite right just yet.

This was by far my most collaborative project yet, and probably the most fun! I had the help of some very talented people and they really brought my creation to life!

You can buy an ebook copy or a print version here. You can also purchase a print copy at most other major booksellers. If you don’t see it yet, keep checking and you can always ask your favorite bookseller to order a copy.

As always, thank you for supporting my creative projects!

The “Surge”

From my first book, Single in the CIA .

…I arrived in             to find a very disorganized office. Some of the people in the very large group forced in to these assignments did not even have desks to sit at yet. It was as if no one had planned for this surge of new people who were apparently so urgently needed. I was placed at a desk, but found I had no work to do…

…I had absolutely no CI experience, so I was baffled at how I could be chosen for this somewhat crucial aspect of work in this new division…

Fun at Foreign Delegation Dinners…

From my first book, Single in the CIA .

…Not that my appearance went unnoticed. During one particularly large delegation visit dinner, the Chief of a very large and prominent division spent the entire evening talking with me and not even acknowledging our foreign guests. He shamelessly insisted I sit next to him, ordered my dinner for me, offered to share his dessert with me and made sure he poured my wine himself when my glass became empty. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought we were on a date. Fortunately our foreign guests were not offended and actually found his behavior rather amusing. I cannot say that the Agency participants were amused though, as I noticed the horrified looks on many of their faces during this high level SIS’s antics…

My Stint in the Office of Security

…During my own polygraph examination the polygraphers had insisted that I showed a reaction to the question of involvement in terrorism. I was questioned for hours about the possibility that perhaps I had given money to a terrorist group or attended a KKK rally with my grandfather at some point in my life. These strange and quite inappropriate suggestions had soured me on the polygraph. Sometimes, making a determination on whether or not the person was suitable for a security clearance required interviewing the individual about questionable information in their files. Whether it was a previous bankruptcy or a disturbing sexual proclivity, I quickly learned that I did not enjoy delving into people’s most personal information in order to determine if they posed a risk to national security. The reading was definitely interesting sometimes. We all had our share of cases where the applicant had masturbated in an inappropriate venue, such as a shared office at work, or had sex with their pets. Some of these people would go on to receive a clearance, and possibly would be working right alongside us in our next assignments…

-From my first book, Single in the CIA .

Introducing Denise…

…Denise did not want to let it go though, and she would drill me almost daily about it. I finally blurted out that I had a disease that would not allow me to donate blood or bone marrow. I thought this would end the interrogation. Wishful thinking – Denise just wanted to know what disease I had. Did I mention I was surrounded by insanity?
I knew I had to get out of there. Besides the mind-numbing work, being surrounded by so many batty, crazed women was wearing me down….

-From my first book, Single in the CIA .

Don’t Fight the Cake!

I think these days I would welcome the cake, but still wouldn’t enjoy the forced socializing.

…As with all offices in the Agency, we of course had to have cake for as many occasions as possible. It did not matter if you were working on time-sensitive intelligence that could save lives, you had to stop and gather around a giant cake at some point at least once a month. Heaven help the individual who did not have a sweet tooth (like me) or was diabetic and refused the cake – your refusal would be so offensive to the women of the office and you would risk ostracization. I was not a fan of the cake, so I experienced many a forced-cake-eating episode during my time in this office…

-From my first book, Single in the CIA .

The DGSE is Following Me!

…Chester would sometimes entertain me with stories about Annie and Carina. Apparently the two of them would go out bar hopping and come back the next day to report their shenanigans to Security. They would run their stories of being followed by French intelligence at DC bars by Chester first to see if it warranted a report to Security. Chester would entertain their delusions, figuring that at least the security officer for the division would get a good laugh…

-From my first book, Single in the CIA .

This spring I will be doing flashback posts from my first book – not just because I am lazy and crazily busy with my two kids, but because I have gained many new followers since 2015. Thank you all for the continued support!

The Martha Stewart of the CIA?

Cooking in the CIA is now available!

Well, not quite.

One of my goals for 2018 was to learn how and build an app. It was a struggle, but…. I finally did it! It started with classes on Swift. Then it progressed into building an app in Xcode. Months of tedious work, and then… FINALLY – I finished it. But that was just the start of the frustration. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say that writing books and getting them published is easier.

This app is all about cooking. These are my own favorite recipes – ones that I have used to entertain foreign delegations during my time as a CIA officer, or discovered traveling to exotic locations, as well as recipes that are simply good for family meals.

Entertain like an international woman (or man) of mystery! Explore regions of the world that you have only dreamed of! Buy Cooking in the CIA on the App Store!

Mission: Discredit Co-Workers

From my latest book, Mingling in the CIA: Bloud –

…He was a bit disappointed to see that his attempts to slander Marcus had not brought about his removal from the office. During his brief visit with Vicky he had learned that Mariana had been sent back to Headquarters to work a desk job. Marcus was a little harder to discredit, being male and all…