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Taxpayer Money…

…I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go visit him in Europe at this point, not knowing what his mental state would be. I was content for now to continue our daily online chats. His schedule became a little more erratic, since kite surfing began taking up much of his days. I couldn’t help but think it was not such a bad deal to receive a paycheck while hanging out at the beach all day…

Crazy Clueless Annie…

…Annie was one of the main people who made me question the Agency’s hiring process. This was a girl who one day innocently asked me,
“What does coo mean?”
Confused, I asked her to clarify if she meant the noise a baby makes. She explained that she had heard the word used in the context that made me realize she meant coup d’état. An employee at the CIA in the National Clandestine Service did not know what a coup was…

Proactiv Anyone?

…I based my fictitious fiancé on a plastic surgeon I had met through family friends. Maybe it was the distraction created by my huge pulsating zit, but Oliver and Allen seemed to buy my story of pending nuptials to this doctor. This did not deter them from telling me some interesting stories about Archie…

Dumped in Europe…

…He yanked my bag out of the trunk and placed it on the ground, grumbling, “Have a nice life.” With that, he turned, got back in the car, and drove off.
I teared up immediately. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart. Trying to keep myself together, I grabbed my bag and rolled it into the airport to find which gate I needed to get to. The airport was somewhat confusing, and I was about to have a full-fledged break down in front of hundreds of strangers…

The Endless Procession of Douchebags

…Archie seemed to be in a bit of an existential crisis; when I would visit him he would insist that I join him at church, and attempt to teach me about Catholicism, but that same afternoon he would want to take me to a strip club and see if I could pick up a girl. We had a very uncomfortable visit to a strip club in DC; one visit was all I needed to see that Archie really could not handle friendly, naked women approaching us, as often happens at strip clubs…